Tom,What can I do next trip to only eat a proper amount of healthy (-er) food without causing tons of family strife or avoiding the family all together? Has anyone else figured out what to do when everyone around you is engorging themselves and you're trying desperately to avoid doing the same?
I spent a good number of years trying to maintain at 5% BF with a family that engorged during holiday celebrations. Family gatherings typically involved people consuming more calories during the "appetizers" stage of the meal than I would typically consume in an entire day! A few of the tricks I used to survive were:
Appetizers:
**Fill a plate with a little of everything. Identify the least unhealthy option on the plate (veggies, cold shrimp, etc). Eat that primarily and refill just that as needed. Your plate always looks full...is full of more than just "health-nut" stuff...and you always seem to be "refilling" it.
Alcohol:
**Red wine if available. Several red wines have fewer calories per glass than even the lowest light beers. Add in the fact that "savoring" a glass of wine is typically not noticed while "nursing" a beer is...and you can do pretty well.
Dinner:
**Scan what's available and identify some good plate fillers. For example...several slices of turkey only slightly overlapping (after all...stacking prevents good gravy coverage) can fill half a plate. Some cooked veggies fill space well. Etc Etc. The point is...get the surface covered as quickly as possibly with the most healthy choices. Then...the only option for the unhealthy ones is to save them for seconds. The key is to make sure you do then go for seconds or someone will notice you didn't even try their lard casserole. In my experience though...people don't tend to notice smaller serving sizes on seconds so you can cut your consumption of the "richer" foods from the meal drastically by just taking a little of each during this second round.
Dessert:
**Obviously the hardest but the fact that you already had "plates" full of appetizers and 2 rounds at dinner helps a lot. Claim you're full but still want a piece of something. "Make it a small one though because you're so full". Nurse this piece as you chat around the table. Hopefully...you've performance up until this point was good enough that no one will think twice about you not even getting through the piece!:)!
Really...IMO...the key is to make it seem that you are one of them rather than sticking out. The more you look like you're not avoiding eating...the less they'll notice you!
Hope at least something in my ramblings helps!
-Dan