Squats are not necessary; there is more than one way to gain strength and I can see a strong argument for more unilateral work. But I love squats, and my strength guy knows this and makes sure to incorporate them into my programming. This looks very different than it did when I was really prioritizing strength: strength training twice a week and not five times a week, and with lower weight on the bar. I think that's what Mike is alluding to with avoiding too much devotion to squatting?
Alison, I don't know that you got answers to some of your specific questions. I sometimes avoid numbers because my numbers are not your numbers, but if it helps at all with putting what you've been hearing into context-
I'm 5'11", 170 lbs, generally ~125km per week between water and erg, strength-training twice a week. Fitness trackers are known to be pretty inaccurate with calorie count, but Garmin estimates my resting calories to be about 1900 per day and active calories to average out to 1300 per day over the course of the week. This comes to 3200 total, with fewer on rest days and more on days with double sessions. I'm wondering if the very different numbers you are hearing are based on counting different things. But if I target ~3200 calories per day, I maintain weight. I am happy at this current weight but plan to bulk starting in March because have goals that require bulking.
The most common protein recommendation that I see is grams per lb of bodyweight, so 165 lbs means 165 g protein a day. There are other recommendations floating around lean body mass, or weight in kg, or other things. If you get 140g or 170g, that's probably fine. 80g daily isn't ideal for your goals; I think that's more of an RDA for avoiding nutritional deficiencies as opposed to actively gaining muscle.
And I have zero qualifications to offer nutritional advice, which makes me about as qualified as most people who try to offer nutritional advice.
